Falling For You
by GendryaCaesar
Summary: Set before 5th year in OotP: Harry is having feelings for his godfather, Sirius Black, but is too afraid to tell him. My first HPSB fic, so don't like don't read. HPRL is still my otp though:) COMPLETED.
1. Chapter 1

"Sirius."

Harry rolled over in bed, stuck in yet another nightmare in which he was forced to see his godfather die. 'You'll have to kill me,' Sirius had said in Harry's current dream. The words echoed again and again in Harry's head.

"No," Harry pleaded, talking in his sleep. "Please…no, Sirius! SIRIUS!" He would not lose the person he was in love with, his only family and the only person who had ever wanted him since his parents died. Gasping for breath, Harry's eyes flew open and he sat up in bed and threw the blankets off of him, his body covered in sweat. The light came on, momentarily blinding Harry, and Sirius rushed in in just his underwear, his eyes wide with concern.

"Harry, are you okay?" Sirius sat down beside Harry on the bed and gathered a still trembling Harry in his arms. "Did you have another nightmare?" It was the summer after Harry's fourth year and he had been at Grimmauld Place for six days now. This had become a nightly routine, Harry would wake up screaming Sirius' name and Sirius would come running and calm Harry down. Harry buried his face in Sirius' shoulder and sobbed, and Sirius gently rubbed his back.

"Shh Harry, it's okay," Sirius soothed, slowly rocking them. "Hey, look at me." He lifted Harry's chin. "I'm okay. I'm alive."

Harry burst out sobbing again at his godfather's words, for some reason which he didn't know. "I n-never g-got to t-tell you I-I-" Harry felt that if he let go of Sirius he would lose him, and he couldn't let that happen.

"What is it, my Harry?" Sirius pushed damp hair out of Harry's eyes and gazed worriedly at him. His voice was so sweet and gentle and Harry swooned. He was so in love with his godfather and it felt wrong and right at the same time.

"I love you," Harry wept. If he ever lost Sirius, that was the one thing Harry wanted Sirius to know. He didn't care if it was platonically or romantically, Sirius needed to know just how much Harry loved him. "I love you so much."

Sirius smiled, tears filling his dark blue eyes. "And I love you." He kissed Harry's nose and Harry giggled, suddenly feeling much better. Sirius was here, he wasn't dead, and they loved each other. Harry didn't want Sirius to leave though, he wanted Sirius to stay with him for what was left of the night.

"Sirius?" Harry asked timidly, blushing. When Sirius looked at him expectantly he said, "Will you stay? Please?"

"Of course." Sirius climbed in beside Harry and pulled the blankets over them. Harry snuggled against his godfather and felt Sirius' arms wrap around his waist. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here when you wake up, I promise."

Harry nodded, his head against Sirius' chest. "I love you so much Sirius."

"I love you too Harry." Harry felt lips against his forehead. "Sleep now." And that was the last thing either of them said before Harry immediately plunged into sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Harry woke up to find his head on Sirius' chest, his godfather holding him in his arms. Remembering last night, Harry smiled to himself. Sirius had stayed, he was alive. Voldemort hadn't tortured him to death.

Harry's heart filled with love and he snuggled closer to Sirius, wrapping his arms around his almost naked body. "I love you," he whispered half to himself, gazing lovingly at Sirius and stroking his long, black curls. Sirius' eyes fluttered open and he smiled at Harry when he realized his godson was staring at him, and Harry blushed. "Have a nice sleep did we?" Harry teased, and Sirius chuckled.

"I did," he declared. "What about you? Did you have any nightmares after I came in?"

"Slept like a rock," Harry informed him. "But you snore though."

"What?!" Sirius exclaimed dramatically. "I do not!" "Do too."

"Why you little-" Harry yelped as his wrists were suddenly pinned to the pillows and he was being tickled. "Sirius! S-Stop!"

"Say uncle," Sirius supplied, a triumphant grin on his face.

Tears of laughter streamed down Harry's cheeks and he could barely get the words out. "Uncle," he gasped, and Sirius flopped back onto the bed beside him. Harry used the opportunity to cuddle his godfather again, who held him like he had the night before.

"Harry," Ron called eagerly from outside the closed door, "breakfast! We're having pancakes and bacon!" "Pancakes and bacon could grow two legs and travel to China and I wouldn't care," Harry called back, burying his face in Sirius' neck.

Sirius burst out laughing. "Come on Harry, let's get up _before _he breaks the door."

Harry groaned but got out of bed, and Sirius ran to his bedroom before anyone could see him in his underwear. They ate breakfast which included stolen glances and indistinct flirting, which everyone else was aware of but Harry and Sirius. Finally Hermione all but dragged Harry out of the kitchen for a word in the hallway. "Harry," she said after a moment, "do you have feelings for Sirius?"

"Um…" He wanted to lie but he was a bad liar and he knew Hermione wouldn't buy it for an instant. Still he tried. "No?"

Hermione gave him a look which confirmed his suspicions.

"Yes," he admitted. "He's so sweet and gorgeous and sexy and I love him more than I've ever loved anyone."

"You need to tell him, Harry," Hermione advised.

"What?!" Harry was horrified. He'd been waiting for Hermione to lecture him on how his infatuation was inappropriate and how he needed to move on and date other people but with Hermione supporting him he was unsure of what to do. "No, Hermione, I can't lose him. I won't risk it."

"Harry, I think I can speak for everyone in that kitchen when I say I'm sick and tired of watching you two dance around each other," she declared. "Sirius needs to know how you feel. I'm giving you until the day that we leave for Hogwarts to tell him, or I'll tell him myself."

"Tell me what?" Sirius appeared in the hallway.

Harry's eyes widened and he blushed yet again. "S-Sirius, um, nothing. Nothing important."

"Starting now," Hermione threatened, disappearing back into the kitchen.

"She scares me," Harry declared, staring after her.

"You've defeated Voldemort several times," Sirius reminded him. "I think you can handle her."

Harry went even redder and gulped. Sirius grinned. "Want to go for a ride on my newly finished motorcycle?" he suggested.

"You finished it?!" Harry gasped, delighted. Sirius had been working on it all summer.

"Yep! Come on, I'll show you." Harry followed his godfather to the garage where his motorbike was sitting. It looked great when it was finished, identical to what it had looked like in the magazine Sirius had showed him. Harry felt himself being lifted up then and he yelped as he was placed on the seat of the motorbike. "Hold onto me tightly, Harry," he instructed, and Harry placed his hands on either side of Sirius' waist. Sirius backed the motorbike out of the garage and it lifted up into the air. Harry squealed in delight and wrapped his arms around Sirius' neck.

"I love this!" Harry shouted as they flew over the streets of London. "But wait…won't somebody see us?"

Sirius shook his head. "There's a sort of force field around us, similar to an Invisibility Cloak," he informed him. "Nobody can see us."

Harry sighed happily, his head resting against Sirius' shoulder. Being this close to his godfather was starting to make him hard, and he was pretty sure Sirius would soon feel something poking him in the back. Fuck. He needed to come up with an excuse, fast, and before Sirius would get suspicious.

"Um Sirius, can we land?" Harry asked. "I don't feel good." Sirius nodded and they went back to Grimmauld Place. They landed and Harry ran for the house before Sirius could see the bulge in Harry's pants. Harry needed to talk to someone. Now. Hermione had supported his feelings, so who could he go to?

Remus.

Remus was a good listener, he had helped Harry in the past with numerous things. He was wise, he would know what to do and he had more experience than Hermione. He was an adult Harry could trust who wouldn't throw a fit when he found out, besides Sirius and obviously he wasn't an option. Besides, Sirius definitely _would_ throw a fit.

Fortunately, when Harry opened the door to the house Harry turned the corner and literally ran straight into Remus. "Sorry," Harry immediately apologized, hoping Remus hadn't felt his erection when he had bumped into him.

"It's fine, Harry, just next time watch where you're going." Remus smiled warmly at him.

"I've got a lot on my mind," Harry declared. "Actually, if you're not busy I'd like to talk to you about it."

"Of course, Harry." Remus looked around, Fred and George passed them and Ron was chasing after the twins, his red hair messier than Harry's and it looked like there was gum stuck in it. Harry grinned.

Remus shook his head. "Let's go somewhere more private," he decided, and Harry followed him into the library. "So. What is it?" Harry opened his mouth, then closed it. Why had he thought Remus would approve of his feelings? He went to school with Sirius, he was his best friend. Suddenly going to Remus seemed like a stupid idea.

"Harry?" Still, it was too late. Harry had to tell him.

"I'minlovewithSirius," said Harry all in one sentence.

"Sorry?"

"I'm. In Love. With Sirius," Harry announced. Before Remus could lecture him he added, "I know what you'll say but I can't help it. He's just…amazing. And he's the only person who's ever wanted me since my parents were killed."

"I would have raised you," Remus offered, "if I wasn't-"

"A werewolf," Harry finished for him, and Remus smiled sadly. "What should I do? And please don't say tell him."

"Tell him," Remus said, now grinning.

Harry groaned and hit his head on the wall several times. "Why does everyone think I should tell him?" "Because you should," Remus said. "Who else knows?"

"Hermione," Harry informed him, "but I didn't tell her. She found out. As far as I know no one else knows."

"I do." Sirius Black stepped into the library.


	3. Chapter 3

Silence filled the room, an awkward one at that. Remus looked from Harry to Sirius nervously, then back to Harry, waiting for someone to respond. Harry was stunned, he hadn't thought anyone was listening but apparently someone was. And that someone just happened to be the one he hadn't wanted to tell the most.

"Shit," Harry whispered, and neither Sirius nor Remus scolded him for cursing. "_Shit_. I-oh god, Sirius, I'm sorry." Before either of them could stop him he ran upstairs in tears, he threw himself down on his bed and sobbed. Sirius and Harry had been so close, their relationship had been wonderful and now Harry had ruined everything. Telling Remus-or anyone-had been a really dumb idea. It had cost Harry his relationship with his godfather.

"Harry." That was Sirius speaking to him. What was Sirius still doing here, with him? He should be disgusted with him, as should anyone. Sirius was his family.

"Don't pretend like you still love me," Harry mumbled into his pillow.

"But I do love you," Sirius protested, putting a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"You're going to send me back to the Dursleys," Harry predicted. "You hate me now. You should be disgusted with me and kick me out of the house."

"Why on earth would I want to do that?" Sirius wondered, awed. He scooted onto the bed beside Harry and put his arms around his godson.

"Because I'm in love with you," Harry answered. "I'm a pervert."

Sirius began stroking his hair. "Don't say that. You are definitely not a pervert Harry, look at me." Harry obeyed, his eyes full of tears. "_I'm _the pervert."

"Why?" Harry asked, confused. What had Sirius done?

"Because I'm in love with you too," Sirius replied, unable to keep a grin off his face.

Harry grinned back. "You mean it?" he said hopefully. Maybe their relationship wouldn't be ruined. Maybe they could still be boyfriends and have a godfather/godson relationship at the same time.

Sirius nodded. "Harry, _I'm _the one who should be sorry. I mean, having those thoughts about you when I'm supposed to be the adult-"

"Stop it," Harry interrupted him, and he reached for his godfather's hand. "You've done nothing more than I have, which is fantasize about something wrong. I guess we're both to blame."

"I guess." They stared at each other in silence. Suddenly they both laughed. "I'm a mess aren't I?"

"We're both messes," Harry added. "Now shut up and kiss me." He wrapped his arms around his godfather's neck and went in for a kiss.

"Harry, wait. We can't just be together and have a normal relationship. I'm your godfather," Sirius said. "I'm twenty eight years older than you. You have to realize what you're doing."

"I know," Harry agreed. "I don't care. Just kiss me."

Sirius smiled and brushed their lips together, and Harry pulled Sirius against him and deepened the kiss. Sirius moaned and opened his mouth, and Harry sucked on his godfather's tongue hungrily. "Sirius," Harry whimpered as Sirius' lips moved down to his neck. "Please," he begged as Sirius softly bit into his skin. Harry was kind of nervous, he was still a virgin but he wanted nothing more at that moment than for Sirius to have him, to have his virginity.

"Forgetting something?" Harry and Sirius immediately broke apart to see Remus leaning in the open doorway, watching them.

Sirius looked baffled for a moment before he said, "Oh, yeah." He pinned Harry to the bed and kissed him passionately.

Remus seemed quite uncomfortable at the scene before him, it must have been strange for him seeing his best friend and his other best friend's son making out. "Not that. Might want to close the door if you're going to…to do things."

"Okay, yeah whatever." Sirius kissed Harry again, and Harry moaned and wrapped his arms around his godfather, hungrily kissing him back. "Would you mind closing the door on your way out Moony?"

Remus snorted but he closed the door anyway. "Lovebirds," Harry heard him mutter, and Harry smiled against his godfather's lips.

"So beautiful," Sirius breathed into the kiss as it deepened. Harry whimpered in response and wrapped his arms around Sirius' neck. Sirius placed small kisses on Harry's lips and Harry giggled.

"Sirius, please," Harry begged, kissing Sirius again. "I want you in me."

Sirius froze and pulled back. "Harry, wait." He pulled back and caressed Harry's cheek, making him shiver. "I'm your godfather. We should take things slowly and not just because of that, but because I love you and I want our first time to be special."

"Of course it will be special," Harry agreed. "It doesn't matter when or where it is. But I love you too and if waiting is what you want then we'll wait."

Sirius smiled and kissed him lightly. "How about we wait until the end of the week?"

"It's a date," Harry decided.

"Good." Sirius laid down beside Harry and opened his arms. "Now come here." Harry immediately obeyed and crawled into his godfather's arms, and soon after he fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

After Harry and Sirius' first kiss they were practically inseparable. They would do things together every day, and sometimes Remus would join them but usually it would just be the two of them. They hadn't come out yet, only Remus and Hermione knew but every night Harry would sneak into Sirius' bed. They hadn't gone farther than kissing, Sirius had something special planned for them the last night Harry would be there.

Remus had said he wanted to bond with Harry more, so on the last full day while Remus and Harry were throwing stones into the lake behind the house Harry said, "Remus, I'm nervous." A stone fell into the lake with a loud plopping sound and sprayed them both with water.

"About what, Harry?" Remus looked over at him, concerned.

"My first time with Sirius." Harry threw another stone, which hit a rock sticking out of the water and it bounced off. "I need some advice. I'm a virgin, and I love him and I think I'm ready but this is my first relationship."

Remus hesitated, and Harry was surprised to see that he was blushing.

"Remus?"

Remus went redder. "Can you keep a secret, Harry?"

"Of course," Harry decided, wondering what Remus could possibly be hiding.

"I am a virgin as well," Remus mumbled, quietly but Harry could still hear him. It took a few moments for the words to sink in and then Harry giggled, making Remus jump. "You-you're a virgin?"

A hint of a grin appeared on Remus' face. "I knew you'd laugh." He paused. "I was with Sirius, back in school." Remus stared out onto the lake. "We just never did…it. We fooled around, of course, but we never had intercourse or anything like that. So obviously I won't be able to give you any advice, but…good luck."

Harry grinned. "Thanks," he said, Remus' choice of words making it sound like he was preparing for a Quidditch match. "I love him so much, this is all just new to me you know? I don't know what to expect. But I trust him, and I want to share this with him."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

That night, Harry stood nervously outside his godfather's bedroom door, and after a moment he knocked. The door opened and Sirius greeted Harry with a kiss.

"So the Weasleys are gone?" Sirius confirmed.

"Yes." Harry wrapped his arms around Sirius' neck and kissed him deeply, causing Sirius to moan. "They went out to dinner."

"The surprise is downstairs," said Sirius, as Harry jumped up into his arms and wrapped his legs around Sirius' waist.

"Carry me," Harry mumbled against his godfather's lips. Sirius chuckled and managed to carry him downstairs, where he set him down in front of the double doors leading to the library. Sirius opened them and Harry gasped. There was a huge bed in the middle of the room where the sofa had been, and candles floated all around the room. Romantic music-Muggle music, Harry thought-played through a radio on the small nightstand beside the bed. "Sirius," he breathed. "It's wonderful."

Sirius smiled, the candlelight reflecting in his sapphire eyes. "I'm glad you like it."

"I love it," Harry clarified. "I love _you_." Sirius kissed him gently and Harry allowed himself to be carried to the enormous bed. His godfather crawled on top of him and grinded against him, and both of them moaned in unison.

"Harry," Sirius sighed as Harry wrapped his arms around his waist and crushed their lips together. Sirius pulled back and said, "Harry, are you sure you want this? That you want me? I'm your godfather. I changed your diapers. I-"

"Sirius," Harry panted. "Shut up." He pulled Sirius in for another kiss and Sirius smiled against his lips. "I want to be yours," he said. "Please just do it. I want you."

And he did, after they removed each other's clothes and both were completely naked. Sirius was gentle, remembering it was Harry's first time, and Harry gasped out when Sirius slid into him. "S-Sirius!" Harry gasped. "Sirius!"

"Am I hurting you?" Sirius asked, gazing into Harry's eyes.

"No," Harry answered honestly. "It feels good-oh Merlin, yes! Sirius…" He came inside his godfather and collapsed beside him, exhausted. No longer nervous anymore, they began a slow snogging session. At that moment Harry knew he had found the love of his life.

"I love you, Sirius," Harry said, breaking their kiss to say the three words he had feared until his first kiss with Sirius.

Sirius smiled. "I love you too."


End file.
